Amanda Enlightens Jim
by WeirdLittleStories
Summary: Spock's mother has a productive conversation with James Kirk, one that dismantles some of the assumptions Jim has had about Spock. Amanda smiled. "You just don't understand Vulcan sexuality, that's all, Jim. Human sexuality is like a light bulb, whereas Vulcan sexuality is like a laser."


James Kirk was sitting at the desk in his quarters, reading over departmental reports, when his door chimed. "Come," he said.

Spock entered the room and came to stand in front of him in a stance that Kirk's experienced eye pegged as personal, rather than professional, so he gestured towards a chair and waited while his friend sat. "What's up?" he asked.

"You are aware that I intend to visit my parents on Vulcan next month while the ship is being repaired and resupplied at Starbase 24."

"Yes, of course."

"I just commed my mother to arrange the details, and she has invited you to accompany me. Jim, you should realize that this is an unusual invitation. My father's position as ambassador requires that my parents entertain guests for professional reasons quite frequently. Because of this, they guard their private time quite assiduously and rarely entertain privately."

Kirk considered this. "You're sure it IS a private invitation? Your father doesn't need to butter up the captain of the _Enterprise_ for some official reason?"

"My mother invited me to bring 'your friend Jim.' If she had intended to invite you in your capacity as the captain of the _Enterprise, _she would have phrased the invitation differently."

"Well, the situation between you and your father is a lot better than it was, but the two of you still aren't exactly at ease together. Maybe she thought you needed some support in dealing with your father?"

"My father and I have never been 'at ease' with each other. If we are speaking at all, our relationship is as good as it has ever been."

Kirk looked at Spock sadly. "I'm sorry to hear that, Spock. Any man should be proud to claim you as his son, and if your father is not, the deficiency is in him, not in you."

Spock inclined his head in thanks. "I appreciate your words, Jim, but I think there is much about Vulcan and Vulcans that you still do not understand. In any case, I am certain that my mother has invited you neither as a buffer nor as support. I confess that I am curious as to what her motives might be."

Jim smiled. "If you're curious, does that mean that you want me to accept the invitation? I know we see a lot of each other on the ship; you might want a break from me for a few days."

Spock gazed at him with the glint of affection in his eyes that showed only when he looked at Kirk. "My tolerance for your company is very nearly unlimited, Jim."

Kirk laughed. "I know that's Vulcan for 'I like you,' and I know you do that on purpose. Sure, I'll go visit your parents with you. With luck, there won't be any heart attacks or assassination attempts, the way there were the last time we saw your parents."

* * *

Their first day on Vulcan had been much as Kirk was expecting. Sarek was stiff and formal, Amanda was gracious and friendly, and Spock seemed more Vulcan than usual when his father was in the room but more relaxed — even younger — when they were alone with his mother.

During their second day on Vulcan, Jim was browsing idly in his hosts' library. Sarek was at his office in the city and Spock was meditating, so Jim had some time to kill. He'd been half looking for a book to read, half evaluating the family's book collection for its influence on Spock when Amanda walked in carrying a tray and closed the door behind her. Something about the way in which she shut the door alerted Kirk to the fact that they were about to talk about the reason why she'd asked him here.

"Jim, would you join me in some lemonade?" she asked.

"I'd love to," he said, taking the tray from her hands and depositing it on the low table by the window.

They sat in the chairs on either side of the table, facing each other. Amanda poured two glasses of lemonade and handed one to him, sipping her own and looking at him expectantly. Jim sipped at his own drink and looked steadily back.

"Jim," she asked. "Why are you friends with my son?"

Kirk blinked in surprise. "Surely you know that your son is one of the best people I've ever met, probably THE best person I've ever met. Do you need me to detail his finer qualities for you?"

Amanda smiled. "Indulge me."

Kirk inhaled. "All right." He smiled charmingly. "You are my hostess, after all, as well as the mother of my best friend. If it makes you happy for me to tell you things you already know ... I guess I can do that."

She inclined her head with nearly Vulcan grace. "Please do."

Kirk smiled. "When you talk about Spock, you have to start with that magnificent mind of his. It's not just that he knows nearly everything. He thinks so quickly that he can size up situations in an instant, can pull up all the relevant data, can sort through a dozen potential courses of action and make a recommendation, all before I can finish saying, 'Analysis, Mr. Spock?'"

Kirk continued, "And that's not all. He can use both his vast store of scientific knowledge and the incredible quickness of his mind to come up with new formulae for the ship's fuel or new drugs to combat some unknown disease or to come up with some other new discovery that has a chance of saving the ship while everyone else is still trying to wrap their minds around the fact that we're in terrible danger." Kirk shook his head. "I've always been intelligent, and not just intelligent but confident that I'm the smartest person in any room that doesn't have Spock in it, but his mind honestly awes me."

Amanda smiled. "Yes, he's gifted even for a Vulcan, and that's saying something." She looked challengingly at Kirk. "What else?"

"Your son is astonishingly loyal. I don't know if you heard about this, but his former captain, Chris Pike, was severely injured, to the point where he was unable to speak or move."

"No," Amanda said, "I hadn't heard about it. Because of Sarek's intransigence, I've had very little communication with Spock since he left for Starfleet."

"Ah. Well, Pike's mind was unaffected, but he was so severely injured that he couldn't communicate with anyone."

"Oh, my," Amanda said. "What a horrible fate!"

"It's not as horrible as it was, because of what Spock did. Spock set up an elaborate plan to kidnap Captain Pike, steal the _Enterprise, _and take Pike to a planet of telepathic illusionists, where he'd be able to communicate freely and to experience the illusions they constructed for him as if they were real life. These telepaths are so powerful that their planet is completely proscribed; anyone who goes there is subject to the death penalty."

Amanda gasped. "SPOCK went there!"

Kirk nodded. "He stole the _Enterprise _so that I wouldn't be involved, and hence wouldn't be in danger of the death penalty, myself. He risked that penalty to take his former captain to a place where he could communicate, where he could have at least the illusion of a full life." Kirk shook his head. "He planned it beautifully, and he gambled that the rule would be waived ... and it was. But he couldn't know for sure that it would be. He was willing to give up his own life so that his former captain wouldn't spend the next forty years in total misery."

Amanda closed her eyes briefly. "I'm glad I didn't know about this until it was all over."

Kirk chuckled. "That's the most dramatic thing he's ever done, but it's certainly not the only time he's risked his life or his career for his captain's sake. It's probably better that you NOT know how many times he's stepped in front of me to take a hit that was meant for me, how many times he's defended me to Starfleet higher-ups, how many times he's gone along with me even when he knew I was making a mistake but wasn't able to talk me out of it. That man would follow me into the mouth of Hell itself ... and if I had him with me, I'd stand a good chance of coming back out again, too."

Amanda looked pained. "One hopes that Starfleet won't send you _there." _

"They've sent us places nearly as bad, places I might have resigned before going if I hadn't had your son with me."

Amanda looked at him curiously. "Is it all about the mission, then? Spock is just your finest officer?"

"No," Kirk said, "Not at all. But you have to understand that the Captain and the First Officer are never really off duty. Duty is such a large part of our lives that any discussion of our lives will be mostly about landing parties or the ship because that's what we do. But we do spend time together outside of duty, and I do prize more than just the First Officer and the Science Officer."

"Like what?"

Kirk smiled. "Not everyone can see it, but your son is actually one of the funniest people I've ever met. Everyone says that Vulcans don't have a sense of humor, but Spock has a dry wit that I really appreciate."

"That means he trusts you, Jim. Humor isn't prized on Vulcan, and for him to unbend enough to show you his witty side ... it means that he feels emotionally safe with you in a way that he does with no one else."

"Well," Kirk said, "The feeling's mutual. I trust him in a way that I trust maybe one other person in the entire world."

"So," Amanda said, "Smart, loyal, funny. Anything else?"

"Lots more." Kirk smiled charmingly at his hostess. "I could tell you how great Spock is all day."

"Well, pick just one more thing, then. Something important."

Kirk thought for a moment, looking down at his glass of lemonade, swirling it idly as he thought. He looked back up. "This might sound sappy, but Spock has a ... shining goodness that I've never seen in anyone else. Many of the people who join Starfleet are idealistic when they first join; some of us even manage to hang on to our idealism over the long haul. But Spock is more than that. Spock is completely realistic in a way that can seem cold-blooded to humans, and yet he's ethical, moral, just plain GOOD in way that even Starfleet's finest rarely are. It would never even _occur _to Spock to do anything unethical, anything base or low."

Kirk paused, and Amanda waited silently, letting him think. He said, "I've seen a lot in my time in Starfleet, including aliens who thought they were gods and who thought they were fit to judge the rest of us. If there were one person on my ship — even one person in all of Starfleet — who I'd want to serve as the Federation's representative, the one person who the aliens would judge to decide if we should _all_ live or die, I'd want that one person to be Spock."

Kirk looked at Amanda and grimaced. "I've never put it like that before, not even to myself. You probably shouldn't tell him I said that, or he'll think I've gone round the bend."

Amanda smiled. "I think it's a lovely summary of my son's character, Jim." She sipped her lemonade, and Jim gratefully took a gulp of his, glad that the grilling was over. "So," Amanda continued, "Why are you just friends with my son, then? Why haven't you married him yet?"

Jim choked on his lemonade, and Amanda handed him a napkin while he coughed and sputtered. When he could speak again, Kirk said, "You have the wrong idea; we're just friends, we aren't even dating."

"I know," she said. "I'm aware that you aren't dating. But why not? I've heard people talk about their spouses with less love, less respect, less admiration. I asked you here because I saw the way you looked at him when Sarek when I were on the _Enterprise,_ saw the chance you took for him, so that he could donate blood to save his father's life. And I saw the way he looked at you, heard the way he talked about you."

Kirk sighed. "I won't say that I've never thought about it. You're right, Spock is very important to me, and I do love him more than enough to date him — even marry him —but there are other factors, factors that I don't think it appropriate to discuss with you."

"It's sex, then," Amanda said. She nodded. "I thought it might be. Don't tell me you bought the myth that Vulcans only have sex once every seven years."

Kirk opened his mouth and closed it again. "That's not true?"

Amanda laughed merrily. "I promise you it's not true! Vulcans are so very dignified that it's hard to imagine that they _ever_ have sex, but I assure you that baby Vulcans aren't brought by the stork! The billions of Vulcans on this planet were made in the same way that human babies are made."

Kirk looked uncomfortable. "Vulcans live a long time; I thought once every seven years, spread out over a two-hundred-year lifespan, might produce enough children to populate Vulcan."

"I haven't done the math," Amanda said, "So I don't know if that would be enough or not. But it's only true that Vulcans _must _mate once every seven years; they _can _mate whenever they want. Their sexual abilities and responses are fully functional the rest of the time."

Kirk blinked. "I guess you would know. But Spock ... seems asexual. I've never noticed him looking appreciatively at anyone, male or female. When our friends talk about their boyfriends or girlfriends or talk about watching exotic dancers on shore leave, or basically talk about _anything _sexual, Spock acts as if he doesn't get it at all, as if appreciating the erotic is something that's completely missing in him."

Amanda smiled. "You just don't understand Vulcan sexuality, that's all, Jim. Human sexuality is like a light bulb, whereas Vulcan sexuality is like a laser."

"Pardon me?"

"Humans practice many different sexual customs, cross-culturally, from monogamy to polyamory to celibacy. But one thing that's true regardless of custom is that human sexuality never turns all the way off; it's simmering on the back of the stove nearly all the time." Amanda smiled at him. "You probably notice a pretty yeoman even when your ship is under attack, for example."

Kirk raised a hand as if entering a plea in court. "Guilty as charged."

"Ah, but that's just it, you see; that's exquisitely _human; _we're all like that," Amanda said. "Even monogamous humans are constantly assessing the sexual potential of everyone around them. Even people who don't flirt with anyone, who don't lust after anyone, they still notice the people around them in a semi-sexual way. And the more highly sexed among us basically check out every person they come across —the strangers on the street in front of them, the waiter or waitress who takes their order at lunch, bosses, co-workers, friends, what have you. Through the magic of video, we even lust after people long dead. I'm sure you can't walk onto the Bridge without noticing that Ms. Uhura is beautiful or that Mr. Sulu is handsome."

"Yeah, so?"

"So," Amanda explained, "Humans are constantly radiating their sexuality around them in all directions, in the same way that a light bulb radiates light in all directions. We expect that from humans to the extent that we think there's something strange about humans who never notice others in a sexual way. Men often bond by checking out potential dates together or even by watching strippers together; women often bond by talking about crushes on singers or movie stars."

"And Vulcans are different?"

"Vulcans focus their sexuality on their spouse. _Exclusively _on their spouse. There are no strip clubs on Vulcan. Anyone who makes it as a singer here is someone who can actually _sing,_ not someone who's good at radiating sexuality and who can maybe carry a tune. Vulcans don't flirt, they don't check out the waitress at lunch, and if they notice other people, it's because there's something _non-_sexually interesting about that person."

Kirk frowned. "That sounds ... rather repressive to me. Do you like living under Victorian sexual rules?"

Amanda laughed. "You're thinking like a human. These aren't RULES, Jim. Vulcans are like this innately; there isn't some draconian social order that squelches Vulcans' natural sexuality. Vulcan sexuality is just inherently very _focused, _so focused that to humans, it appears to be non-existent ... unless you're a Vulcan's spouse."

Kirk leaned forward. "What happens if you're a Vulcan's spouse?"

Amanda smiled fondly. "All of the sexual energy that a human would expend in checking out the waiter or appreciating a movie star or checking out the cute girl at the communications station would be focused in a single direction — on you." Amanda shivered. "Having a Vulcan's complete and total sexual attention is an overwhelming experience, and I promise that you will not find them undersexed."

"You said it's like a laser."

Amanda nodded. "Instead of radiating in all directions, Vulcan sexuality radiates in one single, very focused direction."

Kirk smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"Jim," Amanda said softly, "Once you go Vulcan, you _never _go back." She laughed, a low-pitched, dirty laugh, and Jim blushed.

Jim stood. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need to talk to Spock."

Amanda's laugh followed him out of the room.

.

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**Notes**

1. Except when he's not in his right mind because of spores or being 5000 years in the past or something, Spock appears to be basically asexual. But of course none of us want him to be that way. :-D I was wondering how I could reconcile Spock's attitude in the series with the Spock we're all sure is under there and came up with this.

2. Sarek's already had a chance to line up a mate for Spock, and we all saw how disastrously THAT turned out, so now it's Amanda's turn. Unlike Sarek, Amanda wants a spouse for Spock who will appreciate both his Vulcan AND his human heritage, as well as one who will fit in with the life Spock has chosen for himself. Of course, she does have the advantage that Spock's not seven anymore. :-)

3. TOS (and the reboot movies that are very loosely based on TOS) are the only Star Trek I've seen so far, so if Vulcan sexuality is further explained in one of the later series, I haven't seen those yet.

4. You know I don't own Star Trek, because if I did, things would be sooooo different! ;-)

5. Thanks for reading!

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